I’m sure you’ve heard the saying, “Kids say the darndest things”. Art Linklater ran a TV show for many years with this theme. But do you know that teachers also say things that are memorable? I recently came across this blog. These comments make me chuckle as I remember similar things I have said or heard in the classroom. Now I wish I had written them down.
35 Things Teachers Thought They Would Never Say
BLOG • JANUARY 12, 2016
Every so often some of the conversations on my Facebook page become quite comical. Recently I posted a question that left me in stitches. I compiled the answers for you to spend a few moments laughing as well. Enjoy this compilation of quotes from teachers all over the world!
What are some things you thought you would never say as a teacher?
- “Please do not drink the watercolors.” – Jennifer
- “Your echolocation is not broken, you are not a bat you don’t have echolocation. Stop running into the wall and yelling ‘my echolocation is broken.’” – Danielle
- “No, I cannot marry you.” – Kay
- “Please take your head out from under my dress…” – Meghan
- “Stop licking the window.” – Jennifer
- “Ew! Don’t lick the potty!” – Christina
- “We don’t pick our friends’ noses for them, even if they told you to do it!” – Tricia
- “No, I’m sorry you cannot be an octopus today.” – Chelsea
- “That is not Chapstick. That is our glue. Please stop putting it on your lips.” – Holli
- “Your string cheese is not a light saber.” – Melissa
- “What do you mean you have a tiny NFL football stuck up your nose?” – Lee
- “We don’t chew on scissors.” – Jennifer
- “Please keep your tongue out of your nose.” – Cathy
- “Do not eat the Crayons. Yes, they are nontoxic but let’s not test the theory.” – Julie
- “Stop sucking on the wall.” – Jenny
- “You brought a real live ‘dead’ fish?” – Chelsie
- “Please stop drinking from the toilet!” – Christina
- “I’m so proud of you for buckling your belt…but now go back in the bathroom and put your pants on!” – Madison
- “We are not making valentines for the vegetarians, it’s the Veterans we are making them for.” – Jennifer
- “Your teeth itch? Hmmm, ok just get a drink.” – Nikkee
- “I am not a tree; you are not a woodpecker, so please stop tapping on me.” – Katy
- “Please, do not come out of the bathroom licking your hands.” – Laura
- “Are you gluing your hair back on your head with a glue stick?” – Lee
- “We do not growl in school. We are human beings not animals and we do not growl.” – Jessi
- “Do not glue paper to your body! That includes your skin, your clothes, and your shoes!” – Amy
- “Did you really just put glue in your dear teacher’s hair?!” Student response: “Well a couple of hairs were sticking out! I fixed it for you…aren’t you so happy?” – Jill
- “Well if it wasn’t your underwear you flushed down the toilet, whose was it?!” – Dana
- “Please go back to the bathroom and give each other back your pants. You need to leave school in the same pair of pants you showed up in.” – Melissa
- “No, your last name is not ‘Lil Daddy.’” – Ashley
- “No, you cannot wrap string around your finger to make it turn purple; that is not cool.” – Kay
- “Stay calm and evacuate the room. I’ll get Mr. Weeks to find the snake.” – Carol
- “If you try to stick your finger in the fan again and it comes off we get to call you ‘Stumpy’ the rest of the year.” Problem solved. – Carissa
- Back in the day when we had a dramatic play area in the classroom: “Please get down off of the table in the kitchen. No one will ‘give birth’ in our dramatic play area or anywhere here at school.” – Shelley
- “Everyone move to the other side of the room while I catch the snake with this trash can.” ~Kellie S.
- Did you really put glue on your eyelids?” ~Teresa M.
This entry was submitted by Mrs. Kathi Cooper. With over 32 years of teaching experience, Mrs. Kathi Cooper heard many things from her students and said many things to her students. We thank her for serving the MCS community these past 17 years and tenderly guiding and teaching our Kindergarten students. We wish her God's best in her retirement!